Lately, I’ve been thinking about one thing: What have I done in my life up until now? The answer was simple to come up with, and it’s always the same. “I go to school, and I’m an athlete.” I’ve practiced Taekwondo since the age of 4 and when I was 13 I qualified for the national team. Ever since, I´ve trained 4 hours a day, from Monday to Saturday. I have gone to important competitions such as the Pan American Championships and even a world championship. It’s been almost 3 years of this same routine and about 3 months ago I have started to ask myself if this is still the best lifestyle for me.
Some weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about how Taekwondo is part of my life and how I wouldn’t quit it unless I REALLY had to, but in this situation, I realized this isn't the case. In fact, this blog post isn't even about Taekwondo itself, but it's about me missing out on the other opportunities in life.
I gave this question so much thought and finally came to a realization. My school, unlike other schools in Lima, gives me so many opportunities and different activities that I would love to be part of, but I can’t because I don’t have enough time. Honestly, I feel like the national team is a fog that has covered up my life and doesn’t let me see the rest of the way; it hides me from the world, and it isn’t letting me live my life how I would like to at this moment. Everything I do or want to do depends on my training schedule. Every time that a friend, a teacher, or even a family member asks me to do something or come to a meeting, my answer has always been: “Sorry, I can’t. I have training until late.”
Even though, I’ve decided that next year, I’m not going to be part of the national team for Taekwondo, this doesn’t mean that I’m quitting the sport; that would just be insane. But it does mean that I won’t be representing Peru anymore, at least next year. Now, as I said, I know for a fact that whatever decision I make, I’m going to have regrets someday. If I decide to stay, there are going to be days that I ask myself, “Why the hell didn’t I leave when I had the chance?” and if I leave, there are going to be days that I ask, “Why the hell didn’t I stay?” so this is not influencing my decision at all. I have basically made my choice, but I like to think that there’s still an open door for me to change my mind, and this is helping my mental sanity.
If I finally decide to not be in the national team, I would take this year as a time to try all the other things that I want to try, and measure my engagement, my feelings, my emotions, and my success towards these new experiences. And at the end of 2016, I'll make another decision, which would be if this “not being in the national team” is a permanent decision, or if I’m going back in 2017.
My parents told me that they would support me no matter what decision I make, but they also told me to not stress out myself with this decision. Truly, I don’t feel stressed out at all, because again, there’s still the option of changing my mind, so this isn’t keeping me up at night. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever made. Many people might think that I'm quitting, but honestly, I see it as opening a door that will let me see my future.
Some weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about how Taekwondo is part of my life and how I wouldn’t quit it unless I REALLY had to, but in this situation, I realized this isn't the case. In fact, this blog post isn't even about Taekwondo itself, but it's about me missing out on the other opportunities in life.
I gave this question so much thought and finally came to a realization. My school, unlike other schools in Lima, gives me so many opportunities and different activities that I would love to be part of, but I can’t because I don’t have enough time. Honestly, I feel like the national team is a fog that has covered up my life and doesn’t let me see the rest of the way; it hides me from the world, and it isn’t letting me live my life how I would like to at this moment. Everything I do or want to do depends on my training schedule. Every time that a friend, a teacher, or even a family member asks me to do something or come to a meeting, my answer has always been: “Sorry, I can’t. I have training until late.”
Even though, I’ve decided that next year, I’m not going to be part of the national team for Taekwondo, this doesn’t mean that I’m quitting the sport; that would just be insane. But it does mean that I won’t be representing Peru anymore, at least next year. Now, as I said, I know for a fact that whatever decision I make, I’m going to have regrets someday. If I decide to stay, there are going to be days that I ask myself, “Why the hell didn’t I leave when I had the chance?” and if I leave, there are going to be days that I ask, “Why the hell didn’t I stay?” so this is not influencing my decision at all. I have basically made my choice, but I like to think that there’s still an open door for me to change my mind, and this is helping my mental sanity.
If I finally decide to not be in the national team, I would take this year as a time to try all the other things that I want to try, and measure my engagement, my feelings, my emotions, and my success towards these new experiences. And at the end of 2016, I'll make another decision, which would be if this “not being in the national team” is a permanent decision, or if I’m going back in 2017.
My parents told me that they would support me no matter what decision I make, but they also told me to not stress out myself with this decision. Truly, I don’t feel stressed out at all, because again, there’s still the option of changing my mind, so this isn’t keeping me up at night. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever made. Many people might think that I'm quitting, but honestly, I see it as opening a door that will let me see my future.